Nothing is new except Logan is in Dallas. That is much better than him being in AL. My shower is tomorrow I CANNOT WAIT!! I love it. I just have 9 weeks left I can't believe it!!. I still don't have a name yet. I really like Payton. but who knows. Anyhow Sorry so short. I have nothing else to say. Later

Rachael

26 weeks down.... 12-14 to go!!!!

So, Logan is still working in AL. It's not cool, but it's working I guess. I have learned that no matter how much you love someone MARRIAGE is hard. I do not like to be alone, but I kinda do. I think I would like it more if I was not pregnant. I could just drink the stress away, but right now I can't I just have to endure it!! It's cool though. I love my husband and I have to stand behind him and let him make his decisions. Thigns are getting better hopefully it's just real stressful.

The most exciting thing that has happen to me was that I hit a deer in my car. Yeah I killed that sucker.. But It left a nice dent in my car. I was freaking out and SO was Tallen. I'm glad i am alive! ANyhow I better run. Update more later

Rachael

I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide
Bill on the table gettin' higher and higher
They just keep on comin', theres no end in sight
I'm just holding on tight...
I've got someone who loves me more then words can say
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face
Still hard to find faith..

[Chorus:]
But if you look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave You just might make me believe

Its just day to day tryin' to make ends meet
What id give for an address on easy street
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind
Leave my troubles behind...

[Repeat Chorus]

I used to believe in use
When times got tough
Lately I'm afraid that even love is not enough

[Chorus:]
But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave you just might make
Oh, you just might make me
You just might make me believe

This is my life. My theme song for my life. I am doing okay I'm like 24 weeks pregnant now... Yeah 16-18 weeks left.. WOW huh? Nothing is new I just go to school and work. Come home and chill! Logan is gone.. I don't even want to talk about all that!!! It's well let's say NOT SO GREAT!!! I hate being alone but in the same sense I like it. I'm my own person.. and that gets me into trouble. It's all good though. NOthing new so I better run. Later

Rachael

LOGAN IS HOME. TALLEN AND I ARE SOOO EXCITED. Thank you everyone for your comments. Just a few words can say so mcuH!! Things seem much better now.. I just had to get it all out.... ***BREAK DOWN**.......I love my friends!! & FAMILY they are all wonderful!! Thanx everyone for being there for me when I needed it!!!!!!!!!

"I thank God for you daily"

Rachael

Do you ever feel like you are pretending?? Like you keep all these feeling inside and then soon you can't hold them in anymore?? Well tonight I had my break down.  It all started....

I have had the worse two days at work. It's a long story anyhow. It made me feel like NO MATTER WHAT no one likes me. It sounds childish but no matter how hard I try to find at least ONE person I can get close to it always seems to blow up in my face. I really tthink I screwed up big this time but I really didn't mean to. I should have just kept my mouth SHUT about everything!! Anyhow...IT's just wearing on me I feel awful about it.. I just want it all to go away......

I think this all stems from I just want someone I can talk to. It's like when I talk to my mom or Kayla that I'm BUGGING them or they have their own problems. Maybe it's because I want people to hear all my problems but I don't want to admit that I have problems. I guess that's where the pretending thing comes in!! I act hard and like a handle anything but sometimes it's just too much. I am in tears and can't even sleep tonight because i cannot stop crying and I want to scream out things like I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO... I MISS LOGAN....I WISH I HAD MORE MONEY..... I DON"T KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ANOTHER BABY,... I"M SCARED.. I"M ALONE.. I NEED SOMETHING... WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED!!!!!!!! GOD!!  I think that is the answer. I just can't bring myself to commit to him again! It's like I'm running... Some days I feel fine like I have everything... Some days I just want to forget it all because it's all too MUCH... I'm just so confused and emotional.. I think I need a pyciatrist. (how ever you spell it) I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP.. but I feel like my family depends on me... and that's why I cannot take it. I dunno what to do....

Sorry this is going on forever.. I just had to vent... anyhow.. I better run now that I have it off my chest. I think I need to learn to discuss my feelings, be more considerate of others and their feelings, and I need to find a BEST friend... NO OFFENSE KAYLA.. MAYBE NOT A BEST FRIEND... I need something though.... I mean I just dont like burdening the same people with my problems.. they have their own lives you know.. ANYHOW..... Later

Rachael